My first thought of the day after stumbling out of bed this morning was “Damn…a Rockstar or venti mocha sounds really good…”
In my (weak) defense, I was up really late last night picking my brother up from work. Sue me. I’m was extremely tired when I woke up.
I milled around getting ready, and the thought finally went away. When I got to work, I got a large coffee with half and half, as well as some eggs, bacon, and sausage, and skipped right past the pancakes that were calling my name. That’s gold star #1 for the day. Sort of. I really didn’t need the sausage. Whatever.
I wasn’t hungry at all until around noon (probably from the sausage), and my lunch is at 12:30. Not bad! Better than yesterday…I was starving by 11:30. Oh, but lunch came, and I had my first big “oops” meal. Most Thursdays at work are “Taco Salad” day. Because I was so tired this morning, I didn’t have time to whip up a quick lunch to bring, so the PLAN was that I was just going to hit up the salad bar and get a regular ol’ salad. Yeah…Needless to say, that didn’t happen. I don’t even want to talk about what was in the taco salad, because I don’t need to shame myself any further. Except, when I went to grab what was SUPPOSED to be a bottle of water, I automatically grabbed a Pepsi, and didn’t even think twice about it until I was back in my cubicle. I just kind of stared at it like “WHOA! How did THAT happen?!”
I could have just ignored it. I could have given it to someone else. I COULD have even thrown it away. Did I do any of that? No. What did I do, you ask? I drank the damn thing.
I feel so ashamed.
Except, not really. I mean, I am; I shouldn’t have had the Pepsi, and it would have been nice to say that I had an awesome, successful day, but to put it bluntly, kicking the processed food habit is hard as shit. For a girl who has eaten processed foods her entire life, it’s not so easy to just stop having all those carbs and all that sugar. I read a blog earlier about the paralyzing fear of not being “Paleo Perfect” (http://balancedbites.com/2012/06/paleo-perfectionism.html) and it’s the exact reason that my paleo attempts in the past have crashed and burned within a week or so. So, do I feel a little bad about my two giant poor choices for lunch? Of course. Am I going to give up? Hell no. Will I make bad decisions tomorrow? Probably not. For this, I award myself gold star #2. We’ll call it a preemptive “now you have to behave and make good choices tomorrow” gold star.
On the Facebook front, it’s been weird. Day two and I haven’t been on it, but I find that my world revolved around it way too much. When I got to work this morning, I wanted to take a picture of the glimmer of dawn and post it on Facebook, but then I paused for a second. Why in the world does any one care? It suddenly struck me as an odd thing to do. Those thoughts continued most of the day; wanting to complain on Facebook about wanting to go home, or posting a status mocking someone that bothered me today…It made me realize how absolutely ridiculous most posts were. I have a feeling that this challenge will certainly be an eye opener to how horrible it is to be so addicted to social media. It almost makes me feel like I haven’t been part of the “real world” while being on Facebook. *shakes my head*
All in all, I feel like this is going well. I’m learning quite a bit about myself physically and mentally, and I’m not miserable at all. It’s a great feeling to not be so overwhelmed, and to just allow myself to get used to a huge lifestyle change. I will say, my stomach has been feeling better already; I don’t feel so bogged down. Well, a little after the Pepsi, but that’s my own fault. I have been looking into paleo-friendly substitutes and quick lunch ideas, and at the fantastic advice of a paleo friend of mine, I’m trying not to focus on what I CAN’T have, and instead I’m trying to find new things that I can have. It’s probably the best advice I have gotten thus far!
Well ladies and gents, I’m not gonna bore ya anymore. Here’s to a better day tomorrow!
Keep calm and rock on,