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The motivation roller coaster. January 24, 2013

My first thought of the day after stumbling out of bed this morning was “Damn…a Rockstar or venti mocha sounds really good…”

In my (weak) defense, I was up really late last night picking my brother up from work. Sue me. I’m was extremely tired when I woke up.

I milled around getting ready, and the thought finally went away. When I got to work, I got a large coffee with half and half, as well as some eggs, bacon, and sausage, and skipped right past the pancakes that were calling my name. That’s gold star #1 for the day. Sort of. I really didn’t need the sausage. Whatever.

I wasn’t hungry at all until around noon (probably from the sausage), and my lunch is at 12:30. Not bad! Better than yesterday…I was starving by 11:30. Oh, but lunch came, and I had my first big “oops” meal. Most Thursdays at work are “Taco Salad” day. Because I was so tired this morning, I didn’t have time to whip up a quick lunch to bring, so the PLAN was that I was just going to hit up the salad bar and get a regular ol’ salad. Yeah…Needless to say, that didn’t happen. I don’t even want to talk about what was in the taco salad, because I don’t need to shame myself any further. Except, when I went to grab what was SUPPOSED to be a bottle of water, I automatically grabbed a Pepsi, and didn’t even think twice about it until I was back in my cubicle. I just kind of stared at it like “WHOA! How did THAT happen?!”

I could have just ignored it. I could have given it to someone else. I COULD have even thrown it away. Did I do any of that? No. What did I do, you ask? I drank the damn thing.

I feel so ashamed.

Except, not really. I mean, I am; I shouldn’t have had the Pepsi, and it would have been nice to say that I had an awesome, successful day, but to put it bluntly, kicking the processed food habit is hard as shit. For a girl who has eaten processed foods her entire life, it’s not so easy to just stop having all those carbs and all that sugar. I read a blog earlier about the paralyzing fear of not being “Paleo Perfect” (http://balancedbites.com/2012/06/paleo-perfectionism.html) and it’s the exact reason that my paleo attempts in the past have crashed and burned within a week or so. So, do I feel a little bad about my two giant poor choices for lunch? Of course. Am I going to give up? Hell no. Will I make bad decisions tomorrow? Probably not. For this, I award myself gold star #2. We’ll call it a preemptive “now you have to behave and make good choices tomorrow” gold star.

On the Facebook front, it’s been weird. Day two and I haven’t been on it, but I find that my world revolved around it way too much. When I got to work this morning, I wanted to take a picture of the glimmer of dawn and post it on Facebook, but then I paused for a second. Why in the world does any one care? It suddenly struck me as an odd thing to do. Those thoughts continued most of the day; wanting to complain on Facebook about wanting to go home, or posting a status mocking someone that bothered me today…It made me realize how absolutely ridiculous most posts were. I have a feeling that this challenge will certainly be an eye opener to how horrible it is to be so addicted to social media. It almost makes me feel like I haven’t been part of the “real world” while being on Facebook. *shakes my head*

All in all, I feel like this is going well. I’m learning quite a bit about myself physically and mentally, and I’m not miserable at all. It’s a great feeling to not be so overwhelmed, and to just allow myself to get used to a huge lifestyle change. I will say, my stomach has been feeling better already; I don’t feel so bogged down. Well, a little after the Pepsi, but that’s my own fault. I have been looking into paleo-friendly substitutes and quick lunch ideas, and at the fantastic advice of a paleo friend of mine, I’m trying not to focus on what I CAN’T have, and instead I’m trying to find new things that I can have. It’s probably the best advice I have gotten thus far!

Well ladies and gents, I’m not gonna bore ya anymore. Here’s to a better day tomorrow!

Keep calm and rock on,




2 Responses to “The motivation roller coaster.”

  1. Writing Jobs Says:

    That was a great post today. I really enjoyed reading it very much. Thank you for sharing it. Have a nice weekend!

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