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O, alcohol. May 5, 2013

I don’t have a drinking problem, though when you read this you will think that I do.

I like writing when the drunk opportunistic arises, though I feel bad that it’s the second time in a week. But anyways, I have a few friends over, one of them a male, the other a female. The female I have had a crush 0ne for the longest time. The male is different, obviously. I’m drunk, but checking my spelling quite closely, and the only friend staying over is the guy. No big, he’s like my brother, I love him to death.

Fuck, this is taking too long. I can’t seem to type without proper grammar and shit. Whatever. I will try to let it go. Don’t think I am. UGH. FINE. I am drunk with my best friend and mom. SO EFFING SUE ME. Don’t care. ANYWAYS. My best friend is a guy. I think if I wasn’t gay then I’d be with him. That’s a weird thing to say. He’s just a cool guy. ANYWAY FUCKING WAYS. I’m talking to this girl. She seems legit. Ish. I don’t know how old she is. But I’m ready to be done with all these games and shit.

I want someone. I wants someone who understands me and loves me. I wants someone who gets why I love my family and why I care so much.

I suppose doing this blog doesn’t help…Finn, what do you think? I know this is the second drunk post I’ve made. Why don’t I fly across the pond and live with you? Maybe life would be less complicated. Perhaps I will fly across the pond anyways. You’re my favorite on this blog. But I digress. I hope my friends undersrtand me. I hope they get my I am frustrated. I hope they understand why I can’t seem to share my feelings. Oh well. I give up. I don’t understad what love means right now. I hate feelign this way.

Anywho,, mom’s home from her walk, shoul probably get off here. Hope al is well! Love you all.





2 Responses to “O, alcohol.”

  1. sjw91 Says:

    No going across the pond! :p

    But really, if there is one thing I’ve learned about sexual orientation from being on the ‘gay spectrum’ is that it isn’t constant. Some days I am attracted to women more, some days I find men appealing.

    And I don’t mean to go all cliche, but in order for you to fall in love, you really must love yourself first. How can someone else love you if you can’t love you? You’re a wonderful person with a great personality, a beautiful face, a sense of humor, and a big heart. Any man, or woman, would be lucky to have you! I know its really hard to find someone when you’re in the middle of fixing yourself with weight loss and self improvement. Just don’t start a relationship when you’re mentally like this, because this is how bad relationships start, with the ‘literally anyone’ mindset.

    I know we live far away, but I think about you often, and how glad I am to know someone so much like myself. I’m here for you. ❤

  2. finn Says:

    Hiya Ely ,
    Sorry just notice your posting. Not been on wordpress as much recently personal probs (split up with the girlfriend and my uncle passed away over the weekend, anyway I bother you with all that! )

    Dont matter where you’d be, to be honest you’d feel the same. I agree with the previous posting.

    Told you before concentrate on you first and the rest will follow in time , if you want me to be honest I think your rushing yourself , but I understand from that you feel isolated and lonely sometimes and your looking for that ‘ perfect someone’ firstly look in the mirror find the perfect you and then deal with the stuff . I think if we look for something too hard it never happens . Carry on with weight and being with friends etc and the when you least expect it that perfect woman will turn up. TRUST ME .

    The blog helps cos you can speak to people who have been through what your going through and we are here for you. If you want speak private add me on FaceBook June Bolland (there’s only one). I dont do emails , only because I’m too lazy to read em , I got about 900 to read !! sigh!!

    I hope that makes sense. My heads all over the place at mo , but I am here if you need a chat x

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