I will never give up. I promise. March 18, 2013

Clearly, I’ve been gone a while. Again.

One day I just stopped focusing on what I was doing. I stopped eating right, and I stopped caring. Unfortunately, that lasted a while. Well over a month. I don’t have an excuse for giving up, but I do have good news: I’m not done trying.

I’m ready to jump back on the horse, and I’m happy about it. Two of my best friends are jumping on with me, and I’m pretty hopeful that we’ll keep going until we’re done. To start again, I’ll be joining Weight Watchers Online. I know from past experiences that it works very well, and I’m excited to re-join. I enjoy their programs, and it’s easy to stick too, as long as you have the motivation in mind.

I’m sad that I looked in the mirror today and hated what I saw. I saw beautiful blue eyes, long red hair, but a body that drowned all that out. I don’t want to feel like that anymore. I want to look in the mirror for once and smile and think “Look how far you’ve come!”

I’ll get there, because I will never give up. I promise.

-E

Day Three: *le sigh* February 6, 2013

I never knew it was possible to feel so defeated and empowered at the same exact time.

On one side, I feel so HAPPY that I’m doing well and not deviating from my plan. It’s difficult, and I feel such a daily sense of victory when I can report that I’ve done well. On the other side, my brain feels completely defeated when I say things like “No no, we can’t eat that chocolate! We can’t have that Rockstar!” I was offered chocolate today by a friend at work and it took ALL my strength to say no, and walk away again.

I’m pretty sure I have a death wish, though. I mean…Whole30 during VALENTINE’S DAY??? What was I thinking??!! I’m clearly a psycho. That’s just got to be the answer. AND I have a date-like thingy a few days after Valentine’s day, and I want to take her out for coffee (first date…*blush*). I suppose I can order tea instead. I’m not even honestly sure if this is a date. I *think* it is, but the words “I can’t wait for our date” haven’t been spoken. Ugh. Yeah. Anyways…

So, today went fairly well. I ate a good breakfast, good lunch, and haven’t yet gotten to dinner, but I’m not that hungry. I’m thinking just a grapefruit will suffice. That actually sounds really good. I think I’ll make that the plan. Either way, I feel good!

I’m going to make this short and sweet tonight, so we’ll chat tomorrow!

Keep calm and rock on,

Elysia

 

Day one: Good God, what did I get myself into… February 4, 2013

Picture this: You’re at the grocery store. Organic kiwi? Great! Organic tomatoes? Swell! Organic eggs? Excellent! Right on target! You head over to the meat department, and you’re feeling pretty damn confident about the entire shopping experience so far. Bacon…bacon…hmmm…This one has sugar in it…so does this one…? AND THIS ONE?! What kind of madness is this????

That was tonight’s shopping experience in a nutshell.

I nearly had a melt down in the meat department at Fred Meyer. Chicken wasn’t a problem, but hamburger, sausage, and bacon were horrible. I was only being picky because I still have to last until payday on Friday, so I didn’t want to completely break my budget, but goodness gracious, I hate that it is so expensive to NOT have chemicals or tons of sugar in my food! Not to mention, I ate bacon this morning not knowing that it was cured with sugar. Ugh. This is tough…very tough.

I did, however, feel successful in my attempt to “clarify” my butter (the process of separating the actual butter from the milk proteins). It was a pain at first, until I finally found my cheese cloth and was able to complete the process. I could DEFINITELY taste the difference between the clarified organic butter and regular, plain butter. I like the former MUCH better! (Butter…Parkay….[does anyone remember that commercial??]).

Anyways, today was fairly successful, with exception to the bacon mishap this morning. I had a salad for lunch with olive oil, then I had two eggs with a grapefruit for dinner. I feel great! I didn’t drink very much water though, which I’m going to fix tomorrow. I just was lazy and didn’t take my water bottle to fill it. Shame on me!

I was ALSO good this evening and pre-made tomorrow’s lunch so that I can just grab it and go in the morning. I think tomorrow’s breakfast will be a green smoothie, so that it is quick and easy. I’m pretty excited that I bought kiwis. Yum! I was happy to see them on the approved Whole30 shopping list. Same with grapefruit…I love fruit, and I’m glad that I don’t have two give up some of the good ones!

I’m not going to deny it at all…I was seriously thinking today of just saying “Nope…I can’t do this. I will go back to paleo, but I can’t do this Whole30 crap. It’s too hard.” But, I remembered that this is good for me. It is not hard to say no to bad foods and go for better ones instead. It. Is. Not. HARD. As long as I keep that in mind when I’m making food choices, I think I will be okay.

I also wanted to say a huge thanks to all the wonderful comments and support I have gotten lately! You guys are my biggest support system, as my mom is currently trying to talk me out of what I’ve been doing. “You should try that Medi-fast drink diet!” Yeah…that will NEVER happen. “I’ve read a lot of bad things about paleo diets…” No, you haven’t. There is nothing, NOTHING wrong with eating whole, healthy foods. It is really hard to eat “clean” when you live in a house with four other people that eat crap food. These 30 days are going to be a huge test of my will power. I think I should be able to make it through!

I hope everyone is having a wonderful start to their week!!

Keep calm and rock on,

Elysia

 

 

Week Four of Weight Watchers… October 14, 2012

I was quite depressed at my last weight in on the October 6th. I was really sick (terrible flu! GET YOUR FLU SHOTS!!!) and Mother Nature had paid me an uninvited visit. I was bloated and felt gross, and low and behold, I had gained 3lbs. I wanted to cry; I was scared that it was something I was doing wrong. I didn’t want to go to the meeting, but I stayed and celebrated that my friend had lost 5% already. I sat there wanting to disappear.

I’ll be honest, I tried to come up with excuses for not going on Saturday. I’m lucky that I am doing this with my best friend, because not going was simply not an option for her. I very reluctantly got on the scale…

…and I had lost 4.6lbs.

I was confused for a moment…I asked the receptionist “Is that 4.6lbs total, or for the week?”

She smiled, as if she had been asked that hundreds of times, and said “No, hun…that is just this week! You’re 9lbs down total!”

Weight Watchers lady, you completely made my day! Four weeks, and I am down 9lbs! My brother had said that it doesn’t sound like much, but at the same time, I’ve been told my face looks thinner, and I feel like it is actual FAT, and not just water. I will admit, the past two weeks have been dicey, and I haven’t tracked EVERYTHING that I have been eating, and that’s bad. I need to make sure to keep tracking, BUT, I feel like this is working great for me!

Tomorrow is going to be a true test, though…I am baking my mom a cake tomorrow. Spice cake with a spiced frosting, and I am baking it by myself. No one around. No one to see the spoonful of frosting here, or the taste test there. No one but me. But, what I eat in private shows up in public, right?

I am quite excited for my baking tomorrow, though. I don’t believe I have ever mentioned it, but I absolutely love baking. Eventually, I would love to open my own bakery, and make wedding cakes. I haven’t gone to school for it yet, but I plan to in the next year or so. I love decorating and watching people smile when they see what I have made for them. It’s such an indescribable feeling.

So, for this skeptic, WW has been great for me thus far. I’m learning so much about myself, and they are things that I can take with me through my entire life. It’s not a diet, it is a true lifestyle change. I’m changing eating habits, and learning from my body when I am and am not hungry. It’s fantastic, and I am happy that I am 8lbs away from losing 5% already. I’m hoping to achieve that goal in three weeks.

Well, that’s about all I have for tonight. I might hop on here tomorrow and share pictures of my cake creation, assuming it turns out pretty and edible.

Hope you have a wonderful night 🙂

Xoxo Elysia

PS — Seahawks beat the Patriots today!!!!!!!!!!! YAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, Mondays. August 28, 2012

It was a beautiful, sunny Monday morning here near the Cascades; I started out my day waking up my youngest brother (who is 16 years old) per his request because he wanted to have a cup of tea with me before I went off to work. We sound like we should be from England, huh? But we’re just like that…he’s one of my closest friends, and I’m a lucky older sister to have him. So I got him up around 6am, got ready, and had a delicious cup of English Breakfast tea.

It was a wonderful start to a typically dreaded morning. I don’t know about you, but it’s so much harder to wake up Monday morning than any other day of the week. How to I make that a little better? Starting my morning off with something I enjoy, and something that is typically out of the ordinary. Gave my day a good kick in the pants – and guess what? I had a great rest of the day!

Work wasn’t too bad today; a little on the busy side, but not terrible. Working in a call center, sometimes to be busy is nice as it makes the day go so much faster. Funny, isn’t it? How we want the day to go so much faster at work, then beg for them to slow down any other day?

Here’s your homework for tomorrow…do something out of the norm – take a moment for tea, travel a different way to work, play some music that you haven’t heard in a while…but do something different that you will enjoy, and let me know how it changes your mood for the rest of the day. I recommend doing it before your regular activities – I recommend before work, school, etc. Hold on to the feeling of relaxation or happiness as much as you can for the day. Comment and let me know how it went!

My Monday was one of the better ones I have had in a while, and I’m hoping the rest of the week is the same. To all of you, have a beautiful evening, and an even brighter tomorrow.

❤

Elysia