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Post juice fast reflection. April 28, 2013

Weight as of March 25th: 355 lbs

Weight as of Day One (April 15th): 341.8 lbs

Weight as of Day Ten (April 25th): 327.3 lbs

Weight lost during fast: 14.5 lbs

Total weight lost since March 25th: 27.7 lbs

Sorry that I hadn’t gotten back to report everything! Its been a busy past few days! I’m so very excited to say that my fast was WILDLY successful, and that I am still feeling excellent!

Over the past day or so I’ve been silently reflecting on what I had gone through, what I learned, and how I still feel about my experiences with my very first juicing fast. First of all, I had to face a lot of my inner demons on this fast, and that in and of itself was probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever put myself through. To be home alone and bored and not being able to eat, but WANTING to eat anyways had caused me to look at myself in the mirror and say “you have a problem eating when you’re bored, and you need to do something about it.” That is hard when you’ve remained ignorant to your problems for so long. I had to face the inner demon telling me that it won’t matter, because I will probably just go back to eating poorly afterwards anyways; I simply just told that one to fuck off, because I can and WILL eat healthier. So far, so good!

Along with recognizing my own demons, I was also able to find more inner strength than I thought possible. I found the strength to ignore the devil on my shoulder who told me it was okay to give up before the ten days were over. I had the strength to listen to the angel on the other shoulder when she said she was proud of me for pushing through those tough moments. I finally had the strength to look at myself and say “Goodness, you are beautiful and you need to always know that about yourself.”

I’m beyond thrilled that I still have an intense sense of motivation that hasn’t wavered since I finished my fast four days ago. I love getting up in the mornings and walking, and I love eating better. I love knowing that this week I’ll be doing my work out video AT LEAST three times and parking further from my building at work to get a little more walking in. I love knowing that most likely I’ll be doing another fast (probably only a week long) in May. I also love being able to proudly write a blog saying that I’ve done well lately. I love being so positive about how everything is going.

At this very moment, I’m recovering from a 25 minute elliptical workout – it feels amazing to sweat and feel just intensely powerful/strong. While I was going, I kept telling myself that the more I do this or any workout the sooner I will be at my goal weight and be so much healthier. I have definitely earned my shower tonight, and that feels fucking AWESOME!

Well, I’m gonna go enjoy that spray down, and I’ll be back in the next few days with another update.

Love tons,



Another weigh in! Doing great! April 9, 2013

Starting weight: 355lbs

Last week’s weight: 342.6lbs

Today’s weight: 341.8lbs

Total lost: 13.2lbs!

Yay! I’m quite excited at my weigh in. I know it’s less than a full pound, but any loss is good loss! Getting closer and closer to my goals! Not to mention I had completely blown my points Friday night when we went out. I would have been happy losing just an ounce, to be honest.

I had a really good birthday yesterday, and got some lovely gifts. Most notably of course are the tickets to see/meet Jillian Michaels tomorrow evening in Seattle. I’m still so freaking excited that I can hardly contain myself. I don’t know how I will get through today and tomorrow! My mom also got me a Weight Watchers cookbook. It has some really great looking recipes that I can’t wait to try! It will be nice to not eat the same things over and over again – adding a little variety will be awesome.

Mom and I are still getting up in the mornings and walking. We calculated that we walk approximately a half mile in about 10 – 11 minutes each morning, and we are thinking of making it a full mile in the next few days. Unfortunately, due to events going on this week, I won’t really be able to get a workout in until Thursday. My workout days will be Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday. Gotta make sure to keep moving!

I’m looking forward to asking Jillian some questions tomorrow. What’s the best exercise to start with for someone as big as I am? What exercises can I do to help burn fat quickly? Will you marry me? Oh…wait….probably shouldn’t ask that last one. That could get awkward. Regardless, the offer still stands. But what other things can should I ask? Do any of YOU have any questions you want me to get answers to?

Well, I’m happy to still be doing well and to be going on the right track. Can’t wait for tomorrow! Until then…




And the good feeling continues! April 3, 2013

I just got done with my second workout this week. The Biggest Loser Bootcamp really whipped my ass today. I wasn’t too sore after the workout yesterday, or when I woke up this morning – I am really sore (but incredibly relaxed) this time around, and I have a feeling it will be tough to walk it out tomorrow morning. My arms feel good, my core is tightening up, and I have the greatest post-workout high ever! THANK YOU ENDORPHINS!

I feel like I was able to try a little harder today than I was yesterday – I think I got a better stretch and was able to do more squats/hold them longer. I feel my muscles quivering a bit! Throughout the DVD I was kept thinking “Pain is temporary – regret will last me forever”. It’s probably my greatest motivation right now. If I don’t do it, nothing will ever change, and that won’t work for me either. All I can do is keep pushing harder and harder! I feel like I’ve totally got this!

Thank you tons everyone for being incredibly supportive! You guys totally rock and are making it so much easier for me to keep my motivation! ❤



PS – Only 4 days until my birthday!!!


Not as sore as I thought I’d be.

I woke up this morning fully expecting to hardly be able to move from my Bootcamp DVD yesterday. My mom got me up again around 4:30, and I just laid there…not wanting to move. When I finally did, I was surprised that I could move my legs and arms and abs around with very little pain. Then I thought maybe it will kick in when we start walking. I waited…and waited…and waited…nope. Didn’t happen.

I almost felt cheated, to tell you the truth. I wanted to feel the burn and remember how good it felt to work out. I wanted to feel the lingering soreness as a badge of honor to what I had accomplished the previous day. I was a little sad when I wasn’t feeling it. No matter…I’ll try again today! I will admit, the workout wasn’t nearly as hard as I always remember it. Perhaps it’s because I’ve been walking a lot lately?

I’m planning on trying to do that workout every day this week, including when I am taking the day off on Friday. I am also going to try to cut back on the amount of fruit that I am eating, and focus on eating way more veggies. I definitely feel like my system is in a good working order, and I can tell that my metabolism is up because I’m hungrier throughout the day. These are definitely good signs!

As Friday draws closer and closer, I have been trying to plan ahead on how to not use up all my points while I’m out. I don’t want a night out for my birthday to ruin all my progress! Unfortunately, I think that means a shots to avoid sugary cocktails. Or no drinking at all. Which honestly doesn’t seem fun. Does anyone have ANY suggestions??? I am trying to promise myself not to blow it!

Right now, everything is going wonderfully. I feel good, and my confidence is up and at ’em! Here’s to another awesome day!





My first GOOD weigh in! April 1, 2013

Alright everyone…the results are in!

Starting Weight: 355lbs (I hate hate HATE that number)


Today’s Weight: 342.4lbs (MUCH BETTER!)

HOLY FREAKING WEIGHTLOSS, BATMAN! I have lost 12.6lbs! How about that???

Man, I feel good. Like, REALLY good. I could almost cry. I know that seems absolutely ridiculous since I still have a long way to go, but the point is that I have worked hard already for these results, and I am seriously PUMPED to work even harder!

I also reminded myself that I have 87.4lbs to go until I can go back on Facebook. To be honest, I don’t really care about Facebook much anymore. The ONLY part I am looking forward to is logging on and saying “I F***ING DID IT! HELL YEAH!!!!” Seriously. That will probably be one of the greatest feelings ever.

But, let’s not get too ahead of ourselves. I do have a long ways to go until I reach my 100lb mark, but I am happy that I’m off to an amazing start, especially since it was a holiday this weekend. I’m looking forward to do well this week, and also to walking in the mornings. I’m learning to love it! It helps wake me up, and it’s making my calves start to hurt. I love when my muscles are sore from walking or working out 🙂

So, here’s to another wonderful week of awesomeness. Have a great one!!!




Pictures from my past, and another awesome day. March 26, 2013

While I was helping my mom delete a bunch of stuff from her computer, we found a folder of a ton of pictures we hadn’t seen in forever. We rummaged through it, laughing at how crazy it was that time had flown by so quickly. We found a few pictures of me from my early high school days, probably when I was a sophomore. It was amazing to see how different I looked. I was probably 100lbs lighter, to be honest, and I looked really good! I wasn’t perfect, and I still had a lot of weight to lose at the time, but it’s a night and day difference from then to now.

It made me want to keep doing this even more; it made me remember how I looked, how I felt, and how good I had it back then. It made me want to kick myself in the ass for not trying harder at the time to get healthier. Most of it, it gave me a reminder how how worth it this whole thing is. I know that when I do get to my (first) goal of losing 100lbs, I will feel so much better, and I will have way more confidence in myself. I can’t wait!

Speaking of which, today was a great day. Despite only catching a few hours of ZzzZZzz’s last night, I woke up at 4:30 again with my mom for our walk, then once again resisted the urge to fall back asleep. I pre-tracked my points on Weight Watchers for breakfast and lunch, and even had a few minutes to sit and read a new book I bought last night. I’m really not minding getting up so early. It feels good to have a decent routine!

When I weighed myself last week, I will admit that it was in the evening after I had already eaten. It was a bad time for a weight check, but I had to enter something in when I signed up for Weight Watchers again. When I weighed myself this morning, I had been down 9lbs from that starting weight. Now, I’m smart and know that my beginning weight wasn’t entirely accurate, but I also know that a few of those pounds are from watching what I eat and walking more. Regardless, it felt like I was on the right track.

This is still a “one day at a time” effort, but it’s already feeling wonderful. It feels effortless, and I think that’s the best part. Having my mom wake me up in the morning to walk is a great thing, as is planning my breakfast and lunch prior to going to work. I was hardly even hungry today between meals, AND I still have points left over for today! I think I’m starting to get the hang of it again 🙂

For now, I’m off to hit the shower and get to bed. I need to catch up on some of my missed sleep from last night. Here’s to progress!




New iPod, and starting Weight Watchers tomorrow. March 20, 2013

Yesterday I won a 30GB 5th Gen. iPod Classic on eBay for such a good price. I’m thinking I’ll be taking a lot more walks around the block now that I have portable music. I can’t wait for it to arrive!

Tomorrow, I will be starting Weight Watchers Online. I’m actually pretty excited; I feel like it’s going to be good this time around. I’m pretty ready to get serious about this whole thing again. It’s been depressing to think of all the things I have struggled with and can’t do anymore because of the amount of weight I’ve gained. I hate being out of breath after climbing just one flight of stairs, or having to struggle with certain car seatbelts because they’re just barely big enough…it’s incredibly upsetting, but it’s all my fault. I’m ready to fix this.

I have put a motivation board up in my room to keep me going even when times get a little tough. I have my goal weight written on it, and I have taped a picture of a beautiful dress that I want when I reach my goal. It also has a few motivational sayings to help remind me to stay on track. I’ll keep adding to it as I go!

That’s really all I have for the night…I’ll keep you posted 🙂

(PS – I still haven’t gone on Facebook since I first started posting about my weight loss…still need to lose 100lbs to go on there! I haven’t given that part up 🙂 )



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the Story within the Story

Elizabeth Merritt Abbott

Short posts by a midwestern, writer, reader, and occational crossfitter.


Life, love, lesbians, career, friends, family.

My journey of life and love!

My life on it's rocking path to happiness.


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