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O, alcohol. May 5, 2013

I don’t have a drinking problem, though when you read this you will think that I do.

I like writing when the drunk opportunistic arises, though I feel bad that it’s the second time in a week. But anyways, I have a few friends over, one of them a male, the other a female. The female I have had a crush 0ne for the longest time. The male is different, obviously. I’m drunk, but checking my spelling quite closely, and the only friend staying over is the guy. No big, he’s like my brother, I love him to death.

Fuck, this is taking too long. I can’t seem to type without proper grammar and shit. Whatever. I will try to let it go. Don’t think I am. UGH. FINE. I am drunk with my best friend and mom. SO EFFING SUE ME. Don’t care. ANYWAYS. My best friend is a guy. I think if I wasn’t gay then I’d be with him. That’s a weird thing to say. He’s just a cool guy. ANYWAY FUCKING WAYS. I’m talking to this girl. She seems legit. Ish. I don’t know how old she is. But I’m ready to be done with all these games and shit.

I want someone. I wants someone who understands me and loves me. I wants someone who gets why I love my family and why I care so much.

I suppose doing this blog doesn’t help…Finn, what do you think? I know this is the second drunk post I’ve made. Why don’t I fly across the pond and live with you? Maybe life would be less complicated. Perhaps I will fly across the pond anyways. You’re my favorite on this blog. But I digress. I hope my friends undersrtand me. I hope they get my I am frustrated. I hope they understand why I can’t seem to share my feelings. Oh well. I give up. I don’t understad what love means right now. I hate feelign this way.

Anywho,, mom’s home from her walk, shoul probably get off here. Hope al is well! Love you all.





Getting serious, and waking up early. March 25, 2013

My morning started at 4:30am, when I was jolted awake after hearing my bedroom door open. Standing in the shadows was my tired eyed mother, whispering “Get up, sis! It’s 4:30, and Chloe is whining!”

Chloe is our 14 week old golden retriever/golden lab puppy who is probably the cutest puppy we’ve ever had. Don’t get me wrong, I love our two chihuahuas with all of my heart, but Chloe is a “real” dog, and she seemed to sense that we were waking up to spend time with her.

I got up, trying desperately to remind myself that this was going to be good for me as I slipped on my Converses. I pulled on my sweater and met my mom at the front door, Chloe in tow on her leash. The cold air (it was 35 degrees out this morning) hit my face hard, and we started on our walk. We didn’t talk a whole lot, except for a few comments about Chloe getting really excited to be outside. We walked around our block, and back home. It was only about 15 minutes, but it was enough to wake me up enough to not want to take a quick nap before getting ready for work.

Given that I was already awake, and had plenty of time to get ready, I was able to make myself a quick breakfast (an apple with two tablespoons of peanut butter), and prepare a lunch so that I didn’t have to attempt to buy something healthy at work. I made a quick tuna salad and grabbed two slices of my favorite 21 grain bread. I also grabbed a plum to bring along with me. Usually I buy both breakfast and lunch at work, approx. $10-13 per day. It felt pretty good knowing that I would be saving that cash! I also saved another $10 by parking on the street about a block away rather than parking in the garage at my work. I can see this as a great way to save about $100 a week! Who can beat that???

I also talked my mom into joining Weight Watchers Online with me. It’s SO hard to be the only person in the house to do something like this, so it will be wonderful to have her with me. It will keep me very accountable, and I know taking these walks every morning will also help. I just keep imagining myself walking off the pounds, and figuring out what keeps me full and satisfied. It will be interesting to change my relationship with food; I’m used to eating for comfort, or for boredom. I’m used to thinking “Well, I’m fat anyways, so who cares if I eat an extra piece of candy”. I’m ready to change my relationship with food to feeling better eating healthy, and only eating because I’m hungry. THAT is the part I am looking forward to the most.

So far, Monday morning is starting off incredibly well. I’m happy, I’m awake, and I’m motivated. I have all the support I need, and I’m ready to keep going!

Cheers to getting healthier!



First day of the rest of my life January 23, 2013

Before I went to bed last night, I just laid there thinking “Man…this is so not gonna happen” and it literally kept me up until almost one o’clock in the morning. What kind of crap is that?! Not even a few hours into it, and I was already getting ready to throw in the towel, get on Facebook, and just say “HAHA JUST KIDDING! I LOVE ALL OF YOU AND I’M NOT LEAVING!”

….but then I finally fell asleep. And apparently sleeping on it helped a little bit.

I woke up this morning with some flecks of doubt, and I figured that was okay. I’ll probably have those doubts for a little while as I get used to everything. I made myself breakfast (fresh veggie omelet) and went on my way to work. Since I am a caffeine addict, I had to have a cup of coffee, but instead of sugary creamer, I just used half and half…and it wasn’t bad at all! I was pleasantly surprised.

As I’m typing, I’m not even hungry. It’s almost 10am, I’m in a good mood, and feeling better about my choice to do this. Last night, I got an AMAZING amount of encouragement from my friends who read my last Facebook post, and who went on to read my blog post to see what I was up to. So far, I’m not even having withdrawals from Facebook. How about that, eh? I’m going pretty strong this morning 🙂

Oh…and I also told my youngest brother that I would give him $50 if I go on Facebook before I lost 100lbs. Given that I am usually dead broke, I plan on keeping that promise. We shook hands and everything. It was pretty legit.

So, there’s my motivation! A healthier body and keeping my $50…seems like a great thing to me. I’m on a great start, and I can’t wait to see where it goes.

Keep calm and rock on,



Lost in a life August 25, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — lostinalife @ 5:30 am
Tags: , , , , , ,

With millions and millions of blogs out there, ranging from artistic to political, funky to downright insanity, I don’t know why or how mine may stand apart from the others. I’m just one girl, living my life and remaining a little lost in the process.

I think the first post is the hardest – trying to reach out and explore who is out there reading, and what they may be interested in reading about. I’m sure I won’t get there with this post, but I’ll certainly try.

In this blog, I hope to bring to light my accomplishments, my struggles, and anything in between. I would like to post some scenes from my current writing projects, and maybe even the occasional poem. I’d like to talk about controversial issues, politics, love, hate, dreams, goals…life, I guess.

I definitely hope you come back to visit me – I’ll be posting soon.

Much love,




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